Bad Date - Ways Out
Online dating can really be amusing. A lot of people even find it workable and gratifying. In fact, there are more benefits than you might realize if you haven't tried it for yourself.
However, not all online dating escapades produce positive results in the end. There are instances where the expectations sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality. You might experience a bad date.
Take for example the case of a person who was lucky enough to find somebody he thinks is the right girl for him. He replied on her profile and when he received an answer from the girl, they started to communicate frequently.
What happens on their online dating is a series of continuous communication, exchanging messages, chatting continuously, and spending hours over the phone.
Because of the instant chemistry that evolved each time they talk to each other, the guy had emotionally built up the possibility of having a true, and not virtual, relationship with the girl. That is why he decided to set up their first real date.
But when they met for lunch, everything seemed to crumble into pieces. The girl appeared to be somewhat different than what the guy had expected or recalled. Worse still, their erstwhile cheerful and lively conversation suddenly became stiff and strained.
When the date comes to an end, even though the girl said that she had a nice time and enjoyed the day, the problem is still there. The guy does not know what to say or do.
This kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online dating. There are many cases where two people just don’t click when they meet in person.
A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask why such things happen. They find it hard to believe that the person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely different when in person.
Hence, they try to assess themselves what went wrong. Is it their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?
The problem with most people is they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to their dates online, they are really communicating, not with a person but with a series of texts. This is because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person can always deceive his or her date.
So when this happens, personal meetings often end up like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.
Occasionally, a bad date happens to one person at a certain point in his or her life. One should do some assessment before writing off the person for life. No sparks at all? Too nervous to open any topic? Is he or she being rude? In real life, we should know how to gradually exit from the situation without having to hurt the other person’s feelings.
Here are some things that you can do to deal with a bad date:
1. If you are feeling too nervous, opt for a date over coffee. You will have less time fidgeting due too overnervousness since after finishing your coffee you can easily bid your date a quick "ta-ta".
2. There is no excuse for a date who is obnoxious and rude. Walk away Renee.
3. You and your date are not on the same wavelength? Endure the date, maintain your composure and leave politely. If your date asks for an extension, say an after meal drink, you can always politely (again) say no.
4. If you unintentionally insult your date, simply apologize then move on. If your insult is not that severe, your date might just forgive and forget.
5. Never provide entertainment at your own expense. Humor is cool, putting yourself down is not. It is not worth it to make your self feel uncomfortable trying to impress your date.
6. If you are disappointed with your date, it would be better not to delve on the issue about not having the right chemistry in the first place, or point out the reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer. In order to break things up easily, don't focus on the issue of not getting the expectations one had started to build before you met in person. Don't excuse yourself on the grounds that your date is not good-looking enough, or be hurtful in any way. Instead, try to explain the importance of finding each other’s right mate in order to build a happy relationship. An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of such value could be detrimental in one’s relationship.
7. Excuses will only make the matter worse. Rejections should be instigated in such a way that the other person will not be hurt. If you just make lousy excuses the other person will sense this and be more hurt.
8. People should be consistent in their decisions. If you start to tell the other person that you think the relationship will not work, but are not firm in the decision, you will only make the matter worse and generate negative feelings.
9. It’s best allow your date to express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then answer the questions as honestly as possible.
Do not get disappointed and move on:
1. Don't punish yourself for a date that went horrible, commend yourself for getting through it. Shrug it off, learn from it and then put it out of your mind.
2. Share the details with a friend. This way you can treat it as more of a joke than something that will haunt you for life.
3. Get occupied with other activities so you can forgive yourself and forget about the bad date. Exercising, eating something sweet or watching a movie will make the bad vibes go away sooner than you expect.
4. Honesty and kindness are a good combination when it comes to turning down a bad date who would like a second round. Say something a bit blunt but peppered with some praise -- is that an oxymoron?
5. Now, if you think that the person still deserves a second chance, by all means, give him or her the second try. You can always laugh the bad date incident away when you are more comfortable with each other.
Happy dating!
If you want more Free Dating Tips:
Girls go here / Guys go here
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